Every morning my aunt cuts fruit for breakfast and does so for whoever else is there, weather her daughters are visiting or other family.

But I wish she would cut the members most likely to get soggy quickly, last.

I dare not ever make this suggestion however cuz I know the response would be: “oh really? that’s interesting. cuz there’s actually an awesome way around that little problem that I just read about in Martha Stewart Magazine. It’s called ‘cutting your own God damn fruit’. You should check that out, or if that’s to motherfucking hard for you, I guess you could always just go ahead and not wait a million years after its prepared and let the shit leak everywhere before you eat it. Stupid”.

She doesn’t really talk like that. But that would be the sentiment behind the response.

And for that reason I must say nothing.