Frozen out of Family: new layer of ice

In July 2012 my aunt screamed at me for 2 hours of abuse and personal attacks (we didn’t have a fight: She just hate-vented at me for a full afternoon as I calmly absorbed it and tried to calm her down) because I woke her up the night before by running the washing machine at 11pm. She excommunicated me from the family then and went on a campaign to get the rest of her family to hate me as well, including her grandchildren (my 2nd cousins), telling them they would be punished if they tried to play with me. Classy lady.

In December 2013, I invited those 2nd cousins and their mothers (my first cousins) who were (are/currently) visiting my aunt 20 minutes away from where I live to come enjoy a day at my house at any time in early January 2014 while they’re in the area since I haven’t seen them since their mother decided she hated me. I offered use of my heated pool and hot tub, especially since my 2nd cousins Matt & Kylie love to swim when visiting California but have to suffer through a “so close yet so far” agony of the pool at my Grandparents old house (where my aunt currently lives) being below 50 degrees this time of year. I figured we could have a lot of fun that wouldn’t create any waves so I emailed the invite saying so to both cousins.

They both rejected my offer in bizarre and hurtful ways that require documentation because of their kids. It’s their loss that they don’t want me part of their life anymore because their psychologically troubled mother hates me, but it’s boldly unfair to their children to force them to miss out on my awesomeness growing up. Especially since this is something those children may be angry at when they grow up and find out all they missed out on for no good reason, I feel obligated to make the record clear on why exactly they were deprived of the good memories of my awesomeness.

There are 3 cousins in question. From oldest to youngest: April (Matt & Kylies mom), Jenny (2 young daughters previously unmentioned on this site) & Dena (no kids yet).
Here is their current status after my attempt at contact:

APRIL: The harshest most rude reply. She said thanks for the invite but that I am neither friend nor family to her at this time. Wow. In the invitation I gently noted something April has for years been the loudest complainer of, which is my aunt’s tendency to exaggerate instances in a negative light. Evidently April has changed her position on this, as she called that an insult to her mother and that while she hopes one day we can hang out as friends and cousins, that time is not now.
Remember that I haven’t argued or spoken crossly or even negatively to any of these 3 girls about their psychotic abusive mother at any time. But because I referred to her as “known to exaggerate”, April no longer considers me worthy of calling family or even a friendly acquaintance and refuses to talk about it. Sounds like theirs something more going on, right? Except she refuses to talk about it further. I issued two replies to her rejection saying I meant no insult or disrespect to anyone, thought I was being uncontroversial and only brought it up in the first place as a way of reminding them they have only heard 1 side of the story precisely because I have refused to badmouth their mother all this time. I also asked what exactly she found insulting or what I should be doing differently to come off more favorably. She didn’t reply to either message.

JENNY: After receiving Aprils announcement that I am not family to her because I requested that she not let rumors and slander against me influence her opinion, I sent an email just to Jenny directly asking what I did wrong, exactly, knowing I was more likely to get a helpful answer from her. I did indeed receive a thoughtful reply even though she said she agreed that my invitation sounded like smack-talk about her mother. I responded with a similar apology, explained that I had no idea that character trait of her mothers had become controversial (or I wouldn’t have included it) and re-issued the invitation directly to her and her 2 daughters to come visit at my house any time. I also asked the same “what am I doing wrong, exactly?” questions specifically requesting insight on what I could have done better to not lose that wing of the family. She did not reply.

DENA: The most diplomatic of the responders, actually requested to talk to my by phone about the matter. Unfortunately she called while I was on the plane coming back home (I didn’t get a missed-call from her, but she said by e-mail that she called and it went straight to voicemail) so she explained by email that (in response to the individual message I sent her after April said I wasn’t part of her family anymore) yes, she still thinks of me as family and would like to see me next time I am in Hawaii, where she now lives (I missed her leaving the islands by just 1 day when I was there with my nephews this past summer, though they and my parents met with her) but I will not be invited to her wedding out there in June 2014. She says it’s nothing personal and its merely that her and her fiance have a strict “no cousins” rule for the wedding invites. I think that’s a dumb decision of course and am saddened at its contribution to further icing me out of that wing of the family, but what am I going to say? I don’t have a right to be invited to her wedding and she couldn’t have been nicer about it. So I just didn’t reply. (although that is rude and I really ought to give some sort of short acknowledgement of her response, so I will have to make sure I do that).

Long time readers might remember that these are the cousins I liked so much that in 2007, when I took the first steps of making my website marketing business a Business, I included a 1% equity for them and their mother. Just because. Just cuz I liked them and grew up with them and thought of them as sisters and because I liked my aunt as well. I have no idea what I am supposed to do with this fact now because I remain un-mad at any of these 4 people (including my abusive, slanderous Aunt. She doesn’t even need to apologize to me for any of the grief, stalling, financial damage and family havoc she’s wreaked. If she would just stop and then wanted to resume a relationship like nothing happened – I’m FINE with that) so I don’t want to yank that gift away from them — but at the same time, I can’t be happy or satisfied with working as hard as I do to be giving away any percent of the fruits of that labor to people who range from actively disliking and disowning me as family to barely tolerating my existence in relation to them.

I wish I could talk sense into them but 2 of the 4 won’t talk to me at all and the remaining 2 won’t entertain actual talk, but rather just show me the courtesy of explaining why they have dramatically reduced my role in their lives (which wasn’t that big to begin with).

Since this happened a couple days ago, I saw Disney’s Frozen, which depicts a girl figuratively icing-out her younger sister who just wants to play with her and have fun and be family. The message of the movie is to dump love on their stubbornness and they’ll come around. Ironically, I would normally hate this kind of response and advise anyone adopting it to stop being trampled on and being taken advantage of and issue much tougher-love and take charge. Ironic because that’s precisely how I didn’t handle this case and my “just offer love” approach was a miserable abject failure.

 

 

 

 

Kids think my house is cool…

lol @ all these trick-or-treaters commenting on how bomb dotcom my sick pad is. That’s right kiddies. “Don’t forget to tell your older sisters how cool it/I was”.

The funny part is that I didn’t put up anything for Halloween. This is just how my house always is… 

At first I was offended since I had this whole “swing the door open with a grand-presenters stance” thing goin on and they looked right through me into my entryway and into my back yard and started commenting on that instead of what I always expect to be the forefront of everyones attention at all times: Me. But I warmed up to it after making the connection that it is *my* house after all, so their awe is legitimately MY awe, validating me as a human being, so all is not lost. God. Is this what you douchebags who trick out their cars think and feel like? Your lives must be sad and empty :(.

I think I was also unprepared for it because everyone who comes here falls into 1 of 3 not-impressed-by-Richards-shit categories as they’re
1-Friends who have been to previous living quarters of mine and know how I live so they expect it,
2-Employee’s and business partners coming here to work on a media project in my Studio Wing and are overwhelmed by the general experience to where much of a reaction doesn’t come out &
3-Elitist bitches who view enthusiasm and positivity as a currency that they think depreciates if they transact too much of it and so they withhold positivity as a power move – especially to people like me who have that whole “ooo, I think i’m seoOo great” schtick goin on that they’re not smart enough to get in any deeper way than it’s surface literalness so the last thing they want to do is feel like they’re giving me leverage by implying in any way that they accept that premise, causing them to be 30% snottier than they already were.
Similar scenario when my 9 & 18 year old nephews were here for a day before we went over to Hawaii over the summer: 9 year old Riley went bananas (though for some reason the hands-down winner was my punch bowl fountain) while the eldest was more “screw you and your fabulous wonderland of Awesome, Uncle Rich…”.

I also get jaded to my own eccentricities since, ka-derr – I live with them erry day – and they’re not only never enough, but I haven’t even reached completion of phase 1 for me to then quickly get bored with and move on to something new and bigger/better.

My entryway, for example, is ultra-dullsville to me with bare-minimum essentials that I basically view as placeholders for the REAL stuff coming soon for when I deck the walls with posters and checkerboard the tiles and trick up the back yard some more. It’s for that reason that I haven’t even really posted much from this house since I moved in earlier this year – cuz it’s not done, Son. But I guess I should explain then what I’m even talking about to give some kind of reference:

How is it that they just don’t “get it”?

I’ve noticed a pattern with my elder relatives that they continually make, what to me, are really weird and always negative assessments of me either at large or in a specific encounter with them.

 

My nephews on the other hand, as they get older, are slowly appearing to realize that Uncle Rich is more brilliant-authority-figure and less coocoo-bananas-clown than maybe they previously thought and it’s interesting to see them do the calculations and adjust their assessment internally based on their observations and everything but it  also highlights the contrast of how dense so many adults are. Why are these kids getting wise to my life-of-satire when the generations ahead of them are continually so unable to detect the should-be-obviousness to whats going on in front of them?

I’m inclined to blame this on a lack of thoughtfulness on the part of the person who consistently and repeatedly doesn’t understand the tone of other peoples behavior but it’s possible that age is a factor as well. People may just get jaded the older they get and learn by experience to take everything literally where as a younger person – free of the endless cynicism of life – is more receptive to jokes being inserted into every day interactions.

 

Whatever the case may be. No one but the innocence of a childs mind can know my struggle…

 

Even Han Solo is a better friend than any of my friends

Watching The Empire Strikes Back with my 9 year old nephew Riley who has never seen a full Star Wars movie until watching A New Hope for the first time last night. I have a camera ready to capture the first time he learns that Darth Vader is actually Lukes dad. But until then – we’ve got a bunch of Rebel commanders on ice planet Hoth and this exchange happens:

Deck Officer: Sir, Commander Skywalker hasn’t come in through the south entrance. He might have forgotten to check in.
Han Solo: Not likely. Are the speeders ready?
Deck Officer: Not yet. We’re having some trouble adapting them to the cold.
Han Solo: Then we’ll have to go out on Tauntauns.
Deck Officer: Sir, the temperature’s dropping too rapidly.
Han Solo: That’s right. And my friends out in it.

In other words: “Um.. Ya, stupid. That’s like…the entire point. How bout we show a little concern for my bro here and pitch in?”. Should be obvious, right? How come no one ever gives a shit when **I**’m out possibly freezing to death and/or getting jacked by Yeti-MountainGoat hybrids? Screw u guyz.

I can’t even get the people who claim to be my best pals to do the most simplest of shit and here’s a guy who, even at this stage in his character development, is written to be at least half as cold as the planet he’s working on – a guy who literally has “loner” as half of his name – and even he doesn’t even think its a question of whether he has to go help his friends – the question is HOW.

Nephew’s bathroom humor goes terribly wrong

Nephew: Okay guys, I really can’t help this one so I’m gonna apologize in advance…

Richard: [doing the math in deducing that he was talking about a fart] THE HELL you are, boy. Get the hell out onto the balcony before you release any krakkens. NOW

Nephew: [Runs over to the open balcony door, giggling and turns around, pointing his butt outward to the open night] Hello world! Heeeere you goooo!

[proceeds to pass gas]…

Family laughs, despite knowing we shouldnt as a look of surprise and alarm overcomes nephew face before he holds his butt running to the bathroom saying:

“Oh man, it was a poop. IT WAS A POOP!”

[the bathroom door slams shut. and the family erupts in laughter that could only be described, coincidentally enough, as “losing our shit”]

 

(ps: the nephew is Riley…)

NOT an April Fools Joke: My Aunt Eloise makes up creepy sex fantasies about me…

A few months ago my Aunt Eloise sent a creepy email to my sister saying that she “knows a lot of things” about me that she hasn’t exposed yet. Welp, today I found out the disturbing defamatory details.

This morning that aunt told my mother that a few months ago she found a stash of porn that I she claimed I put on her computer, including gay porn that it sounded like she was implying that I was in/a part of, as well as videos of me being lovey with (holding hands and skipping through a field together) my boyfriend. Oh, -and also that when I used to live in my grandparents old house (that she still lives in) she claimed that I took a shower with a guy I had over.

This is not an April Fools joke.

Quick backstory: So… I have this aunt who lives in my deceased grandparents old house that I used to live in as well and during the time I lived there she would always make up weird stories and characteristics about me with which to gossip to other family with. The entire time I lived there, she would tell everyone that all I do is hole up in my room all day, make up stories about how I broke or ruined something that never actually happened, how weird and autistic she thinks I am, how she listens to me take showers (yes, seriously) and then more recently – decided that I’m gay. But don’t worry: she doesn’t think I’m gay in the “I think he might be either confused or afraid to come out of the closet and could use some help and understanding” kind of way – she thinks I’m gay in the “lets never ask him or say anything about it to him ever and just tell tales about him behind his back to the rest of the family” way. Awesome lady. But she has been without a job or friend or general purpose in the 30 years or whatever its been since her divorce and doesn’t have anything to do all day except tend to her garden and watch tv (and nap – because tv and flowers is super tiring) so I usually give her a pass and ignore it when she says batshit crazy things cuz you have to consider that the source is someone who lives in an extremely limited scope and I’m okay with doing that. Unlike her strategy of dealing with things she thinks she notices going on underneath the surface of other people however, I’ve tried a bunch of times to get her to be social, earn money from home instead of just run out the clock on using up her inheritance from my grandpa, etc – but its no use.

So since my aunt Eloise has no filler or goals or busy work to keep her occupied in her own life, she focuses on micro-managing everyone else’s lives around her. So I’m not a stranger to her drawing weird (and strangely, always negative) conclusions about people she doesn’t know, about me, about her 3 daughters, her neighbors – basically anyone and everyone but herself. But I’ve gotta say that this kind of slander is a bit much… I mean, there’s nothing wrong with gay people or being gay or being bi or being whatever and just being a flat out pervert on top of it– and so on and so forth – I’m a libertarian on issues of sex & am morally and philosophically fine with any consenting adults doing whatever/whomever they want – so its not like I’m dropping my monocle into my champagne glass with shock and outrage over this ongoing sexual fantasy of hers about me – its just that lies like that have a way of smearing someone’s character. This kind of defamation is illegal for a reason… It inevitably affects how people view me, which I don’t need, since – I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but – I can be a touch eccentric and abnormal in some areas of life and behavior.

I wish there was at least a funny misunderstanding or something to this story, but nope… I haven’t had anything of mine on my aunts computer in years, when I did it was never anything non Rated-G, I don’t have a “porn stash”, have never been romantically associated with any male and the gayest physical thing I’ve ever done in my life was attend a performance of the musical Mamma Mia with another (straight) man.


In other words: decent attempt, but…you Fail…

So… the fact that she went to such lengths to create this alternate reality is…super weird to say the least. Luckily she claimed my cousin witnessed the “porn on her computer” part, so I called that cousin up immediately and asked for details of exactly what happened and what went down.

To no ones surprise, my cousin of course told a way different story which makes a lot more sense. According to my cousin, some time when she was visiting her mom (my aunt) at the houses (I guess at Christmas), my aunt called her in to the computer room to show her porn on her computer that she alleged she didn’t know why was there. My cousin says there was never any confusion over its location and that my aunt was in fact in a folder on my computer through the houses wireless network.

Okay – so mystery solved, right? She was looking at porn on my computer through the shared network, then? Um. Not so fast. From what my mom understood – she was told that there was not just chick-porn but gay videos with me in them. I asked specifically about this and my cousin said she saw no such thing – which is good, because it means that my cousin isn’t a liar like her mother.

So that’s the important part that I was glad to have settled. The rest, is academic, cuz if my Aunt Eloise who hasn’t had a husband, boyfriend or even same-sex friend (that isn’t a cat) in over 20 years wants to look at naked people on my computer – that’s not really a problem (except for the part where she should have asked).

How she arrived at that endpoint and then presumed to tattle on me to my mommy, however, is a problem, because there are only 2 explanations for what happened and neither of them are good…

Possibility #1: She’s such a sicko that she just made the whole thing up in an effort to smear me in the family. She accomplished this by snooping into my computer to find enough things that were actually there to reference later (I’ll show you in a minute 1 of the videos she lied about) and then made up a bunch of other much worse things to seal the deal but was smart enough to get my cousin to witness part of it to make it sound more believable.

Possibility #2: She was snooping in my computer and found some of the [UPDATE: My associate doesn’t want me mentioning the name of the brand since its still being developed and its site and video series is in pre-production, but the rest of the description about it left in this post should give plenty of context-clues still) media that she saw as an opportunity to make up sex fantasy fan-fiction over me about and ran with it.

So… Either way, she was illegally rummaging around files on my computer and then chambered her little secret to then lie about it to the rest of my family over. Classy gal!

She told my mom that I “put porn on her computer” – which is not only false, but according to my cousin – that was never suspected and in fact my aunt was 100% aware that whatever she was looking at was not in fact on her computer but being accessed BY her computer to look at files that were on mine. Then, according to what my mom was told, she totally fabricated the inclusion of anything remotely homosexual in nature and tied that into a larger meme to slander me with.

She also didn’t stumble upon anything secret. No one under 40 who has heard of this thing called “the internet” has a “porn stash” of video files that just take up gigs of hard drive space. If you want to look at naked chicks (or dudes or donkeys or Asian amputee’s smoking cigarettes in the bath), there are only about 900 billion locations to do so for free. My cousin confirms that she did see some kind of softcore something or other where a chick got naked and that’s it. So my best guess is that’s where my aunt Eloise was poking around in and evidently watched way more of its content than anyone who “accidently” “stumbles” onto such a thing would do.

But here… Lets give her the benefit of the doubt again though and say that she only went snooping through my personal files – not on an expedition to look for dirt – but purely by accident… In order to do this, she would have had to select “Richards Mac Pro” under the “Shared” header in her Finders sidebar, then go to my storage drives, then go to video and then go to the [website name] folder and – tada! A folder with a bunch of softcore naked chicks for a male-demo brand with a rude edge that is one of many I’m working with (a folder full of raunchy humor videos for vlogs and reviews for the sites video series, hot chick pics, commercials from other countries that show nudity and the early years of Girls Gone Wild where it was way cheaper looking and super clunky). Even under that supposition, she lied about it being on HER computer and about there being anything gay in there.

Which brings us to the allegation of stumbling on my supposed romantic boyfriend video… She told my mom that she saw me “holding hands” and “playing in a field” and “making heart hands” and so on.

Gosh. She sure had to dig deep through my personal media files to find that one, but at least its not a total invention of her imagination this time and she just made up lies surrounding it instead of lying directly about this one.

The person she’s talking about is fkking Wyatt… lol.

Remember this image? It was originally intended to be a video sketch.

The bedtime story bit was part of a larger montage that I scrapped because some of the shots didn’t work out like I hoped. For instance: the frame wasn’t filled when we’re doing our frolics in grass (which is my front yard at my grandparents house) and we did a “fall to ground laughing” overhead shot that didn’t work cuz our stupid heads didn’t even make it in the frame – so I said eff it and junked the concept, turning it into the Fathers Day bedtime story goof instead.

This is a screenshot of me directing him in how I want the scene to go, yet evidently the staging and conversation talking about how we are filming a HUMOR SKETCH and not a romantic relationship video (the joke in the sketch wasn’t even anything gay so that just shows you how gay-minded my aunt Eloise is)

According to my evidently gay-sex obsessed Aunt Eloise who knows nothing about how real-life relationships or even casual sexual interactions work, however – she thinks this was a serious display of homoerotic affection that she totally uncovered.

Which brings us to the bizarre cherry on this psycho-sundae: Her claim that she witnessed me take a shower with a guy at the house. Which not only never happened but there was never even any set of circumstances that could have led to a sitcom style misunderstanding – the likes of which, for her to not be a complete mental case – would have to be happening every day. This is based on literally nothing. I mean – I exist, a shower exists, and other people I’ve had over to the house who are straight males exist – but never together at the same time. She just has a an active imagination thats bananas for dude on dude action within her family or something.

The sad part is that, as I mentioned earlier, this is not the first time she has eavesdropped on me while I was in the bathroom (seriously) and retold a wildly inaccurate story about what she thought I was doing in it. I wish I was making that up, but several other family members have told me that she tells them about how she listens to me taking baths and showers and tells them about it, so…. Whatever that’s about…idk.


Seen above: Actual photo of my aunt Eloise while i’m in the bathroom

There are a bunch of other true stories concerning my aunt Eloise that evidently I’m going to have to post publicly now because she just won’t stop slandering me and I’m legally required to go on record about. My legal advisor has been strongly recommending, encouraging and otherwise trying to get me to sue her since her first abusive outburst which was followed by a parade of very vicious and entirely unprovoked hate speech, illegal and unethical behavior that cost me and my associates time and money. I have refused to sue because even though she has turned so hateful, I know that it is mostly just due to her unhappiness she suffers from and doesn’t know how to deal with appropriately, but I can only tolerate so much of this before the “well, its FAMILY” excuse doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t even dislike my aunt Eloise. I just need her to stop lying about me.

It’s a lot to ask, I know, but I feel like somehow she could maybe find it in her heart to not lie about her nephew anymore (or at least not so often).

Now if you’ll excuse me, Biff and I are going to go upload a bunch of amateur porn to another unsuspecting 60-something year old cat ladies computer and then shower off together and I don’t want to be late.

 

Wyatt thinks I’m an asshole

“You’re an asshole. It’s not something I hold against you, its something I accept” – Wyatt Torosian.

for the record, I’m not posting this cuz I think its a funny or accurate observation about myself. Just sharing and logging the sentiment cuz i’m sure its a shared one. I’ve heard it before, so I know. I’m okay with putting these opinions on record and letting my record speak for itself.

(a personal journal adjoining the Richardland comedy network)