My sister-in-law just revealed that she’s pregnant, so that’s pretty newsy. I already have 4 nephews. If # 5 doesn’t turn out to be a niece, I have no idea how any of us are going to pretend we still love it and want it around. Nephew Aidan is 16 and lives with his mom so i’ll fill in his reaction as being along lines of a “cool story, bro” response, but sis-inlaw Sarah delivered the news to her 3 boys and got the following reactions:
Riley (7): “that’s awesome!”
Brody (4): “I gonna be so nice to that baby!”
Rowan (5): “I THINK IT’S RETARDED! AND STUPID!”
I’ll have to sit them down for a “kids say the darndest things” style interview and ask them all about it when I’m there for Thanksgiving in a month.
“Goodnight, you princes of Maine… you kings of New England.” – me to my nephews as I turned off the light, hoping just one would maybejustmaybe go “aaahh. John Irving. very nice Unka Rich. very nice. g’nite u ole scamp”. they did not…
My aunt was looking for her Google phone amongst a line of my brother and nephews Google phones on the counter so I waved my hand and told her “these aren’t the Droids you’re looking for”.
She didn’t get it and no one else was around to witness the comedy gold 🙁
I have decided to live the rest of my life in desert seclusion. Meaning: I’m thinking of renting Bristol Palin’s house in Arizona.
My family has decided they’re Star Wars fans now that Spike is doing an endless marathon of all 6 movies…
Most facepalm moment so far has been my aunt asking “Is that SamEL Jackson? that’s interesting since he plays the voice of ObiWan in the first 3 movies”…
she’s thinking of James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader…
UPDATE: Conspiracy theorist Asian-Josh asks: “are you suggesting that if Spike did Alex Jones marathons, your family will decide to be 9/11 truthers?”. The answer is of course, no. they have to have heard of the thing and know that its generally held in high regard. so conspiracy scam artists are out, Lethal Weapon, LOTR and other several part entertainment film series are in.
Most of my traveling this year has been for funny Facebook statuses and such.
It rained for 4 days straight here at home so I posted a status announcing that I did not move to California for this crap and would be spending the rest of the week in Hawaii. so while in Hawaii, when a cloudy day came, I had to remain consistent and leave. so I did.
Wish I had a “before” picture. not that the place was a pig sty but I’ve been at my Aunts house the past month while she visited her new grand daughter down in Temecula (that’s closer to San Diego, where as I’m closer to Los Angeles – 2.5 hour difference, for you non-Californian viewers) and she didn’t tell me she was coming home today so she just walked in the door.
I guess my cousin Jenny deprived her of any housework during the visit cuz within about 14 and a half minutes of being back, the kitchen was cleaned, dishwasher emptied and refilled, laundry done, hummingbird feeders washed/changed/&filled, a new 3 & 1/2 bottle batch of tea was brewed and contained and godknowswhatelse…
Went to the museum with Matt & Kylie because they had a special “dig for fossils” exhibit for kids. Turns out that digging for fossils is a lot like finding plastic toys in a sandbox! fascinating.
adults thought it was lame and boring, which the kids picked up on and didnt want to try anything. Blase Betty with the designer handbag in the background was in my party that went and summed up the mood in this background cameo. once the kids saw how motherfkkn AWESOME this shit was, they couldn’t get enough and dug in (chyea, i totally just said “dug” in. oh snap).
plus at the next table we got to put on safety goggles and clean REAL fucking fossils. and then fucking KEEP THEM. jealous much?
I didnt exactly get to keep *mine* since Mathew forgot his at the table and started panicking in the car on the way home so I had to pull mine out and lie n say it was his and I saved it. fucking kids… next time I’m going alone…
god damn kids are difficult sometimes. Cousins 5 yr old twins Matthew and Kylie are visiting for a whole month. trying to explain Tiny Toons to them and they’re not grasping the concept that Elmyra is a reimagining of Elmer Fudd. oh, so you can get that Babs is a version of Bugs, but this is too much of a stretch for you? ya, STFU bitches. god, idk how you people with kids do it.
by “it”, i mean explaining early 90’s cartoons to skeptical minds. not the other bullcrap in child rearing. i already know that shits a breeze.
UPDATE: I posted this on Facebook and had someone who thinks they’re smart try to call me a “chump” over the claim that Babs Bunny is modeled after Lola and only Buster is the mini Bugs…
Ahem…. Lola wasn’t invented till 6 years after Tiny Toons.
Buster and Babs (B&B) are split personalities of the big B – Buster having the calm and smarmy self assuredness and schemery, Babs having his penchant for costumes, over-reactions and bipolar emotions. gawd. kids these days…
now I’m pissed cuz I don’t remember what that’s called. i keep wanting to say archaic… UG. wtf is a mistake in a movie or something called that contains something that didnt exist in that time period? like a Timex in a Western or a plane flying by in a Dinosaur flick? it has a name. and its driving me crazy.
UPDATE: web mistress of MissAshleyPants.com came to my rescue. the word for an example of false chronology is anachronism.
Matthew was so confident that I’ve never seen Tale Spin before that he was stupid enough to bet me his Popsicle (vs 2 if he was right) that i hadnt. watching the joy in his face fade into horror and sadness as I sang along every word of the opening theme – including the “spin it if you win it” bullshit (seen in the video below when Chris Wheeler was stupid enough to challenge me & Dwayne on this) was one of the best moments of the year.
(a personal journal adjoining the Richardland comedy network)
