Carrie Clampitt-Gracey is a disingenuous sweaty cow who acts friendly to people she does not feel friendly toward. That’s probably why no one really loves her. Like her mom, or her husband, or God.

Nah, just kidding. That’s just me being emotional ‘nStuff. I’ve never actually known her to be all that sweaty.

Ahhh – But seriously, no joke about the emotional part because when I wrote that opening sentence I was 100% serious, which is of course super silly, but if you’ve read previous posts like this from me before, you know I take people being unduly mean to heart, personalize it when 90% of the time it’s not anything personal (just mean people being mean) and then put on my Batman mask and town-crier the incident to log both aspects [both their meanness, and my butthurtness. Because in all fairness, both are worthy of historical note].

 

So how could someone with such a nice sounding name be such a salty hoor?
Well, since you asked:

I went to high school with Carrie Clampitt where I didn’t really get to know her SUPER well, but well enough to call a friend under the tab of “friendly with the occasional hangout by proxy”. We were pleasant, and would talk personally when we talked at all, she was in my group that went to prom, she would tell me on more than one occasion how miserably depressed she is and how much she hates her life and her mother – you get the idea. Feminine Mikey was in Student Council with her and would always complain to me about what a psychotic emotionally unstable controlling Stalinist bitch she was, calling her Ashley Monez’s “mini-me, except with less power, less smarts, more crazy and of course, fat” (*his* [accurate] description. not mine). Howeverz, where as Ashley turned out to be just a delightful and awesome human being in present day from what I see on Facebook (of which we are friends), Carrie Clampitt Gracey is still every bit the robotic fruitcake that she was back then.

 

Carrie Clampitt moved to California 20 minutes away from me and since I was hang-out friends with her room mate, I saw more of Clampitt over the last year. blah blah blah – she’s a fkkn bratty snob but so what? Everyone has the opportunity to learn and grow and shouldn’t be excommunicated because they might be a little snotty with you on occasion. That’s my philosophy anyway. And that’s why I’ve always been Sweetness & Light to Carrie even when she’s short tempered and impatient with me. Because who cares, really? Just because a person isn’t a personality type you might want to pursue further levels of bonding with doesn’t mean you have to be at odds with. Especially if you are mature enough to recognize that the way a person is is because of their own life circumstances and surroundings and not because they are personally out to get you.

 

That understanding of the difference between personality types however does not give people like this the liberty to be outright jerks to you for no reason under no provocation and then cut you off from any further dialog. That’s more than just having a snippy personality type – that’s an attack that needs a spotlight shined on it with a big “Not Okay” message.

 

*warms up spotlight*….

 

So despite never returning Carries snippiness in the past, evidently she had developed negative feelings towards me. Idk why because I’ve never said anything nasty, negative, rude, or mean to her, we’ve never had a fight and the closest there has ever been to tension between was have only been in extremely gentle moments of adjustment in where I would assess a situation in more realistic “not the end of the world that you’re making it out to be” terms in service to a defense for my friend Lauren when she’s on the receiving end of a Clampitt-meltdown.

 

On Facebook I encouraged my friends to follow me on Twitter by noting that if we’re good enough to be friends on there then I outta be good enough to follow on Twitter. Except I said it in faux-outrage like this:

if you’re not following me on Twitter but are friends with me on Facebook…what..the hell… kind of friend.. – no – what kind of HUMAN BEING are you?… you disgust me….

 

Maybe a lame status but less lame than just saying “follow me” or just linking to my Twitter account with no addition.

 

But Carrie took it to heart and deleted me right after reading it.

So it’s not just a disconnect on a social network that she decided to chop me from but rather that she doesn’t like me or value my presence in her life at all which was a realization caused by my status to reflect facetious disappointment in those who have yet to “follow me” on that microblogging bird website.

 

Here’s the message she sent me on Facebook and the thread that followed:

CARRIE-

You said:

if you’re not following me on Twitter but are friends with me on Facebook…what..the hell… kind of friend.. – no – what kind of HUMAN BEING are you?… you disgust me….

I just realized we aren’t friends.

 

RICHARD-

what a passive-aggressive bitch message to send.

I just realized you’re awful.

 

CARRIE-
you’re right. i am awful. thank goodness you don’t have to be my friend on facebook anymore.

 

RICHARD-
you’re doin an awful lot of chatting to someone you allegedly don’t want to be friends with, bitch.
make up your mind and either
A) follow through with your decision and stfu & go away. or
B) apologize for being awful and admit you’re just after attention and don’t know how else to get it other than being a jerk cuz you suffer from social problems that should not excuse but at least explain your bratty behavior.

 

CARRIE-
I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.

 

 

Let’s look at the scorecard in this exchange:

-Her message is completely unfoundedly nasty with no reason or excuse. To inform someone that you aren’t their friend by pretending to take serious a dumb status update about having a Twitter account and inform that person that you had an epiphany about their worth to you from it and it is zero, is worth chiding.

-My reply noting its tone and unnecessary snot-itude was pithy and on-point. The follow-up, using her “just realized” language to label her bad behavior is onnier pointier. Go me.

-Her sarcastic reply amounting to “yeah yeah, whatever. guess everyone wins then cuz I’m gonna be awful and you’re gonna be gone so yeay” is not at all expressing they apathy she’s trying to convey but rather is clear aggression. If you’re apathetic and happy about the connection loss then you don’t feel a need to gloat about it afterward, you just silently go into the night with your “good riddance to bad rubbish” attitude. If you try to express a “good riddance” attitude to the person then there’s something up there because you’re not just leaving the person, you’re trying to send a negative message to them.

-Here’s where I stopped writing to her and started writing to you, the future reader. I do this often when it looks like something is about to go the direction of the person blocking me and this needs to be noted so you don’t think this is the right way to reply in a situation like this. It isn’t. My response was too long and substantive for a personal message spat like this, too nasty (including the b*tch line as a dismissive noun this time), and not at all worded right for the interpersonal match going on. It was perfect for a blog though, so that’s why I wrote it that way. So acknowledging that I fell on my sword by knowingly formatting in an otherwise non-ideal way, the substance of what I said is legit: go bye or admit you’re hanging around because of some other reason (and ideally surface that reason and make it an opportunity to deliver something constructive about why you don’t like that person at least).

-Her response obviously wins the exchange. Even though she did the most cowardly move possible by blocking me right after sending that so she could get in a final word and then not have to hear it ripped to shreds, there is no way around the fact that that is a superior reply to what I said if we are strictly scoring this as a sparring match. It’s like the “you mad?” thing that is currently popular to say in situations like these where you mock someone for caring about the issues being discussed while lording your own apathy over them as a clear sign you’re winning (because they are feeling something and you just don’t give a fudge). This does that in a fake-compassion way. Ie: “I am sorry you are a butthurt little biznitch. BYE”.

 

And it’s that block-and-bye that is the only reason there is a long post-game analysis of this snooty toot. If you put me in situations like these, I’m going to recap them in my brain for my own evolution and piece of mind. But if I’m going to go through the trouble of that, I’m not gonna waste my life on it – I’m going to turn it into content I can post and get something out of, thankyouverymuch.

 

And that’s why Carrie Clampitt-Gracey is a Scary Armpit Tracy. Or something.

 

IRONIC UPDATE OF AWESOME: Feminine Mikey has evidently also moved to California and is friendless enough to where he is ready to look past his previous hate and be total BFF’s with Carrie Clambot-Spacey.

 

 

Gross but lulz. I am so glad I included the part about him being the original source of broadcasting what a jerk she is, specifically how he personally didn’t like her cuz now I have the perfect book-end to this social tale as he over punctuates with desperation at re-igniting semblances from his high school life back when he was cool. Somehow these soap-opera sub-stories have a way of always writing themselves just the right rejoiners. Especially when awful people are involved.