Sweet butterscotch Magillicuddys… Ryan Macullaflulla, alternatively known as Evil Ryan just fulfilled the prophecy I layed out in 2003. (see previous posts here: – theres about 10 more, plus like 13 in the RTV section, but they’re on a different database that wont be on the site till the new format is completed and all the old archives are merged into the new richardland 3.0 coming in 2010).
Quick recap: in the summer of 2001 i started a romance with the vapid skank in princess’s clothing seen here: http://rtv.richardland.com/archives/tag/slutty-alice. Fast forward to spring of 2003, and my most trusted buddy and bestest friend Ryan is fucking her while I think she’s “with her mom looking at colleges” for the weekend. turned out that “her mom” was really my former best friend and most loyal lacky, Femanine Mikey and the “colleges” she was looking at was Ryans dick. I know – funny, right? Well its the only time outside of watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition that I’ve cried in the past 10 years, so fuck those guys.
Oddly though, I predicted the following in this post on richardland shortly after the incident in 2003:
Actually, as weird as it sounds – if i could see a future friendship with any of these assholes coming about it would be, ironically, Ryan… the guy who fucked my girlfriend. While sluthole Alice and faggetine Mikey will no doubt pull the bullshit “i’m sorry” song and dance within coming years – or WORSE – the “hey bro, whats up? lol. how ya been man??” horseshit that hopes time will have clouded my steel trap memory – i could see Ryan pulling it off with a tinge of naive sincerity.
Ryan may have been the grand wizardHitler who orchestrated this Final Solution to wipe out richardland, but he was also the only one to show remorse and make a small penance.
Read the rest of that post from 03 for the details – and in retrospect, while “wizardHitler” is a funny line, a more historically astute Nazi analogy would have been Eichmann, but I was only in the base level stages of my holocaust obsession back then.
And true to form: both slutty alice and fem Mikey did in fact come groveling multiple times over the years and were very harshly shown the door. I chronicled Mikey’s bullshit on here, but I didnt bother with the slut cuz she’s so one-dimensionally vapid that she’s not interesting even via insult comedy, unlike Mikey who is like a sitcom in his hapless adventures at sucking at life.
Tonight when I got home from dinner at BoneDaddys (its like a southern Hooters except the food is better and the girls are prettier, and not moms) I open my Facebook mail and see… gasp… a message from Ryan. saying? exactly, what, i, fucking, predicted… He just politely said hello and gave some good wishes and thats it. just a nice little check-in and how-do-ya-do.
fuck.
idk how the fuck to respond to this shit… I already went through an Evil Ryan flipout just a week and a half ago and its actually a funny story. I would have blogged about it but Ryan was such ancient news that i didnt think it had much entertainment value beyond me, but now that he’s back, you’ll all appreciate this: so a little under 2 weeks ago, I’m in Hollywood at an agency rep’s office and he comes in, hands me a Vitamin water and a portfolio from a recent shoot that I was in and says to flip through it and we’ll talk about stuff in a minute when he gets back. so I pop open my fruit punch V-wat and turn to the page with me in it and – shocker – im fkkin gorgeous. its like, chah – whoah. so eagerly, naturally assuming another shot of me will be on the next page, i flip and — OH MY FUCKING GAWD, ITS EVIL RYAN!!!1 … or at least I think… I was positive this dude was Evil Ryan… and right there I go into game mode: im searching my mental files for all the data on this douche, im pacing, im pulling out a chalkboard and drawing strategies, im playing a remix of “Kill the Beast” from Beauty and the Beast and dropping in lines like when Frollo in Disneys Hunchback of Notre Dame is about to deliver his death blow and goes “and he shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit!”
Everything was ALL SYSTEMS GO – THIS IS NOT A DRILL. this was the moment i’ve been training for – one of them anyway. an arch nemesis is IN california IN my field! operation destruction starts NO— oh, nevermind cuz it wasn’t him… it soooooooo looked like him though. you cant fully appreciate it cuz there are so many posts tagged with him that are still offline for the next few weeks while the database changes, but when they come back online and you can see the pictures and video, you will look at this and go “OMG!”:
But back to the present situation: here I am with an open Facebook message and while i dont respect this guy – i dont hate him. so while i wanna bust out a one line reality stomped along the lines of “we are not friends. we are not friendly” (awesome, right?) – i would feel bad. justice only works when its deserved and in this case, being harsh in response would be just cruel and while i can be mean and vicious, i’ll never be unjustly cruel. Search the Feminine Mikey archives and you’ll see that that little bitch asks for an emotionally devastating reply in every single god damned response from beginning to end – but Ryan didn’t in this case… he did exactly as I thought he might, and i even noted in 2003 that it would probably be genuine.
Ryan was the 2nd best friend to destroy a social network by banging my girlfriend, and I recently rejoined and re-friended the first, so it would be really awesome to be on good terms with the 2 dudes who betrayed me, while remaining enemies with the former friends who had taken sides with the betrayer at the time. its so poetic and kick ass in the dichotomy of what you’d expect. but… meh. It’s midnight and im going to go to bed. I think i’ll just send a short reply and delete this message. maybe link to this blog and let him be like “huh?…” and just delete it himself out of apathy. ya… i think that…
g’nite kiddies.
ps: see what little previous Evil Ryan content is available (i went in and activated a few relevant ones to add context to this) until we get all tag pages back to normal (but improved!) –
http://blog.richardland.com/archives/tag/evil-ryan
