If you ever have the choice to choose your opponent in a game of hide and seek, pick 3 year olds. They’re just old enough to understand the concept and just young enough to dominate to cartoonish degree’s.

It’s awesome. You’re like the Dodo in Wackyland and they’re Porky Pig – or, if you didn’t get that reference and I’m losing you here – think more along the lines of Tom and Jerry and you’re Jerry. Or Tom. You’re the mouse. Crap, I’m ruining this post – here: I’m saying you’re the dominant leader in a cartoon chase and they’re the bewildered character going along for the ride getting foiled at every turn.

Every animated trick in the book works. You can turn a corner and stand flat against the wall and they will run right by you. You can disappear into the shadows and then re-emerge like it was a magic trick. You can fake them out one way and then while they’re still looking for you in that direction, already be behind them to deliver a tap on the shoulder and run down the hall like mad.

And since the little retards don’t understand voice physics yet, you can be hiding behind a chair in the living room and answer their “where aaaare youuuu?” call by yelling “in the dining room!” and the gullible little morons will actually run there instead of towards where they heard the voice coming from.

It’s great. They trot after you having no idea that they’re physically outmatched to impossible degree’s because they’re not old enough to have realized how that whole thing works yet. So every time they think they have a legitimate chance at catching you. Maybe THIS will be the time. Aw, almost.

No. Not almost you little soft boiled peanut. I was just taunting you. Mocking your inability to even almost come somewhat kind of close to catching me.

But you can’t. You won’t. You’re in my world now bitches.

Games of physical skill against 3 year olds RULES.