Twin 4yr old cousins-kids Matt & Kylie are watching Batman and Superman episodes from the 90’s animated series of each respective character, but Matt likes Batman better and Kylie likes Superman better. Prepared for this, I had made a folder of crossover episodes to break any stalemate on which to watch. So they’re watching a Superman crossover 3-parter from 1998 titled Worlds Finest, where the Joker is hired by Lex Luthor to kill Superman, causing Batman to enter the scene and defeat the two in a team-up.

Understandably, the kids started asking who Bruce Wayne and this Kent nerd from Smallville were and I explained that they were Batman and Superman. The “wtf” expressions on their faces contained hints of annoyance that I would insult their intelligence by expecting them to believe such poppycock.

I told them how they need costumes so no one knows who they are when they fight the bad guys so they have real names and dedicated at least 6 minutes, complete with charts and diagrams explaining the concept of secret identities and why they’re necessary.

They reacted as if they understood… However…

Later on, Batman shoots a grappling gun upward and is nonchalantly wisked away into the air when it connects with the Batplane (on remote auto-pilot obviously) passing by overhead. Lois realises she was with Bruce Wayne when she was attacked and fears, out loud, for his safety, asking Superman if he is ok…

Kylie dawns a look of disgust as if to say “what a dumb bitch” in response to Lois’s question.

Kylie: but she just sawr him flied away…

Me: ya.. but she doesn’t know that that’s Bruce… she only knows him as Batman.

They still didn’t get it. and still looked mad that Lois and I were so stupid that we’re asking questions about a persons health and well being when we just fugging saw them zip away in th eir super hero plane. DUH.