Pomegranate Cranberry Orange “cocktails” with the nephews. I only announced a picture was about to be taken… didn’t ask either of them to pose. They picked classy & trashy on their own.
Tag Archives: Riley
Nephew’s bathroom humor goes terribly wrong
Nephew: Okay guys, I really can’t help this one so I’m gonna apologize in advance…
Richard: [doing the math in deducing that he was talking about a fart] THE HELL you are, boy. Get the hell out onto the balcony before you release any krakkens. NOW
Nephew: [Runs over to the open balcony door, giggling and turns around, pointing his butt outward to the open night] Hello world! Heeeere you goooo!
[proceeds to pass gas]…
Family laughs, despite knowing we shouldnt as a look of surprise and alarm overcomes nephew face before he holds his butt running to the bathroom saying:
“Oh man, it was a poop. IT WAS A POOP!”
[the bathroom door slams shut. and the family erupts in laughter that could only be described, coincidentally enough, as “losing our shit”]
(ps: the nephew is Riley…)
So, we had beets for dinner….
And my oldest nephew of the 3 younger ones (Aidan is 17), Riley got a little theatrical…
Footsteps…
From left to right: It starts with an appropriate level of joy expression for the venue, then as we move over to Brody we tick it up a notch to extra “look at me, i’m posing for a picture” style of smiling and then… RowRow bringin in the “sticking my face out of a car window on the highway” posture that forces a smile so big that any more of it and his face would melt off.
Taken at a “Dinner with Santa” event.
Uncle Rich the Fifth
My sister-in-law just revealed that she’s pregnant, so that’s pretty newsy. I already have 4 nephews. If # 5 doesn’t turn out to be a niece, I have no idea how any of us are going to pretend we still love it and want it around. Nephew Aidan is 16 and lives with his mom so i’ll fill in his reaction as being along lines of a “cool story, bro” response, but sis-inlaw Sarah delivered the news to her 3 boys and got the following reactions:
Riley (7): “that’s awesome!”
Brody (4): “I gonna be so nice to that baby!”
Rowan (5): “I THINK IT’S RETARDED! AND STUPID!”
I’ll have to sit them down for a “kids say the darndest things” style interview and ask them all about it when I’m there for Thanksgiving in a month.
Nephews say the darndest things…
my friggin 15 year old nephew just tried to quiz me with the question “guess who came first: Sonic, or Mario?”… that’s like asking a Nam veteran if they know anything about the war. bitch, I LIVED that. effouttahere.
More gems from my week with the younger nephews:
“you stink butt toilet poop! im gonna fart in yor unda-wear!” & “you’re a butt and you stink like butt, BUTT Stink!”
– Rowan Bushnell, 4
“untle Richard. um. um. uh whats..uh whats ‘gay’? – [fake answer] – “haha. im gay! im gay im gay! haha. im so gayyyy!” – [real answer] – “um.. i dont think thats rilly it cuz if 2 boys kissed eachother they’d prolly go tu jail”.
– Riley Bushnell, 6
“Instead a Easter they should call it Ster-Eee cuz you STIR the chocolate and then you EAT it, so Ster-ea, not Ea-ster…”
– Riley Bushnell, 6
“Touch that again and it’s gonna rain spank-bombs like a Giant’s tears after he found out he wasn’t invited to a birthday party”
– uncle Rich, layin down tha law.
Dolla store killaz
My brothers Sprint broadband card (I quit mine) gets a .6th of a bar of reception at his house and only in certain spots, so to use the internet he usually drives up to Starbucks a few miles back into civilization. Since my day job is teh internetz, I’ve been freakin dying during the visit, so my dad drove me and my nephew Aidan up to the library so I could get some work done and he could surf Ebony porn for awhile. I lost him in the there and didn’t want to say so to the creepy library people so I went out in the parking lot and called 411 to get the library’s number and then asked the person who picked up the phone there to find him and send him outside.
From there we headed to McDonalds where I was able to point out to him the importance of doing well in school, as the lady who served us had to make her 3 kids wait at a table until she got off work… from her job at McDonalds. 3 kids. just saying.
Next stop: strip mall down the road where we’ll have my dad pick us up. In the mean time? Dalla Stooooore yo.
