Tag Archives: Rowan
Rowan is a madman with a purpose…
Don’t tell my other nephews, but Rowan is my favorite. Okay, not really (I just remembered they’re starting to learn to read), but he *is* the biggest performer of the 3 little monsters.
This little psychopath with the skull & crossbones necktie is gonna be something someday. and it’s gonna be hilarious. The picture below of him “smiling” with his grandma (my half-brothers mom) was taken tonight as the family was out at dinner.
Since that one was a little silly, here’s a re-take to get a “nice pictures with Grandma”. Nailed it…
^That’s his older brother Riley behind him and my brother with the Amish mutton chops on his face. Of course Rowans the star of the show. Such an angel, right?? I mean look at that adorable saintly look of innocence.
Rowan is an Artist and his brothers are his canvas.
Before they went out… Rowan got ahold of a permanent marker and drew thick eyebrows on Riley (cleaned off with a clarifying shampoo before the camera was brought into this) and tagged monster faces on his younger brother Brody. GENIUS!
His poor mother, who is about to pop with their soon to be younger sister/my first niece, had to scrub them down as best she could before they left but as far as I’m concerned – he totally won extra ice cream points with uncle Rich. Here she is with Brody who is looking sweet as sugar and innocent as a freakin baby lamb resting on a bed of ducklings and tulips:
Rowan is always the most hyperactive and the one who crashes the hardest so of course he konked out on the couch as soon as they got home. While he was vulnerable and their mom left the room to shut off the tv, Riley got his revenge for the Sharpie eyebrows Rowan gave him earlier:
Their mom reports “Rowan is in for a surprise in the morning.. oh these boys..I have a feeling this just the beginning”.
Nephew Rowan is losin teefs
Footsteps…
From left to right: It starts with an appropriate level of joy expression for the venue, then as we move over to Brody we tick it up a notch to extra “look at me, i’m posing for a picture” style of smiling and then… RowRow bringin in the “sticking my face out of a car window on the highway” posture that forces a smile so big that any more of it and his face would melt off.
Taken at a “Dinner with Santa” event.
Uncle Rich the Fifth
My sister-in-law just revealed that she’s pregnant, so that’s pretty newsy. I already have 4 nephews. If # 5 doesn’t turn out to be a niece, I have no idea how any of us are going to pretend we still love it and want it around. Nephew Aidan is 16 and lives with his mom so i’ll fill in his reaction as being along lines of a “cool story, bro” response, but sis-inlaw Sarah delivered the news to her 3 boys and got the following reactions:
Riley (7): “that’s awesome!”
Brody (4): “I gonna be so nice to that baby!”
Rowan (5): “I THINK IT’S RETARDED! AND STUPID!”
I’ll have to sit them down for a “kids say the darndest things” style interview and ask them all about it when I’m there for Thanksgiving in a month.
Nephews are turning into Fish
Will see the little boogers from Florida at my parents house in Texas in late June. In the mean time, the youngest 2 are practicing their swimmery:
Rowan the Seaweed monster
Brody, sharkin it up.
Nephews say the darndest things…
my friggin 15 year old nephew just tried to quiz me with the question “guess who came first: Sonic, or Mario?”… that’s like asking a Nam veteran if they know anything about the war. bitch, I LIVED that. effouttahere.
More gems from my week with the younger nephews:
“you stink butt toilet poop! im gonna fart in yor unda-wear!” & “you’re a butt and you stink like butt, BUTT Stink!”
– Rowan Bushnell, 4
“untle Richard. um. um. uh whats..uh whats ‘gay’? – [fake answer] – “haha. im gay! im gay im gay! haha. im so gayyyy!” – [real answer] – “um.. i dont think thats rilly it cuz if 2 boys kissed eachother they’d prolly go tu jail”.
– Riley Bushnell, 6
“Instead a Easter they should call it Ster-Eee cuz you STIR the chocolate and then you EAT it, so Ster-ea, not Ea-ster…”
– Riley Bushnell, 6
“Touch that again and it’s gonna rain spank-bombs like a Giant’s tears after he found out he wasn’t invited to a birthday party”
– uncle Rich, layin down tha law.
If this kid turns out ugly, I’m gonna be pissed
My brothers middle child of the 3 he has with his current baby momma wife is getting my vote on most likely to be the “almost as good looking as his uncle” one, and if I’m wrong – or worse, if none of them take after their uncle Rich in the hott department – I will be pretty angry and probably love them at least 40% less.
I think the oldest, Riley will be okay and might have a jockish rouged thing going on later in life, and the youngest little droolhead is too hard to tell, though his resemblances to my father make me sad.
But this snotface Rowan appears to have the most head-turner potential and it’s gonna be a huge bummer if he grows up all weird in the face or just kinda inbred Picaso smushed up or something, all of which are entirely possible. His mom is trying him out in the model world a little and hopefully that will set him on the right track of diet [throwing up], exercise (performance enhancing drugs) and an undeserved sense of entitlement and self importance that facilitates being totally hot like his uncle Rich.
Dolla store killaz
My brothers Sprint broadband card (I quit mine) gets a .6th of a bar of reception at his house and only in certain spots, so to use the internet he usually drives up to Starbucks a few miles back into civilization. Since my day job is teh internetz, I’ve been freakin dying during the visit, so my dad drove me and my nephew Aidan up to the library so I could get some work done and he could surf Ebony porn for awhile. I lost him in the there and didn’t want to say so to the creepy library people so I went out in the parking lot and called 411 to get the library’s number and then asked the person who picked up the phone there to find him and send him outside.
From there we headed to McDonalds where I was able to point out to him the importance of doing well in school, as the lady who served us had to make her 3 kids wait at a table until she got off work… from her job at McDonalds. 3 kids. just saying.
Next stop: strip mall down the road where we’ll have my dad pick us up. In the mean time? Dalla Stooooore yo.
