Tag Archives: Star Wars

Even Han Solo is a better friend than any of my friends

Watching The Empire Strikes Back with my 9 year old nephew Riley who has never seen a full Star Wars movie until watching A New Hope for the first time last night. I have a camera ready to capture the first time he learns that Darth Vader is actually Lukes dad. But until then – we’ve got a bunch of Rebel commanders on ice planet Hoth and this exchange happens:

Deck Officer: Sir, Commander Skywalker hasn’t come in through the south entrance. He might have forgotten to check in.
Han Solo: Not likely. Are the speeders ready?
Deck Officer: Not yet. We’re having some trouble adapting them to the cold.
Han Solo: Then we’ll have to go out on Tauntauns.
Deck Officer: Sir, the temperature’s dropping too rapidly.
Han Solo: That’s right. And my friends out in it.

In other words: “Um.. Ya, stupid. That’s like…the entire point. How bout we show a little concern for my bro here and pitch in?”. Should be obvious, right? How come no one ever gives a shit when **I**’m out possibly freezing to death and/or getting jacked by Yeti-MountainGoat hybrids? Screw u guyz.

I can’t even get the people who claim to be my best pals to do the most simplest of shit and here’s a guy who, even at this stage in his character development, is written to be at least half as cold as the planet he’s working on – a guy who literally has “loner” as half of his name – and even he doesn’t even think its a question of whether he has to go help his friends – the question is HOW.

The Force was not with me

My aunt was looking for her Google phone amongst a line of my brother and nephews Google phones on the counter so I waved my hand and told her “these aren’t the Droids you’re looking for”.

She didn’t get it and no one else was around to witness the comedy gold 🙁

I have decided to live the rest of my life in desert seclusion. Meaning: I’m thinking of renting Bristol Palin’s house in Arizona.

Star Wars Spike-a-thon

My family has decided they’re Star Wars fans now that Spike is doing an endless marathon of all 6 movies…

Most facepalm moment so far has been my aunt asking “Is that SamEL Jackson? that’s interesting since he plays the voice of ObiWan in the first 3 movies”…

she’s thinking of James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader…

UPDATE: Conspiracy theorist Asian-Josh asks: “are you suggesting that if Spike did Alex Jones marathons, your family will decide to be 9/11 truthers?”. The answer is of course, no. they have to have heard of the thing and know that its generally held in high regard. so conspiracy scam artists are out, Lethal Weapon, LOTR and other several part entertainment film series are in.